How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
