I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
