discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
