i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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