i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
