Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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