I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Randomize
