I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
