Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
