Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
