Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
