The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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