Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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