I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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