Small penises have feelings too.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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