I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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