Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I want to have your abortion
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
i need some magic done to my vagina
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
