you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
