Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
