I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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