Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
