i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize