none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Randomize
