All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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