do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
