someone threw a dead crab at me
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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