Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
