Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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