There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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