Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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