thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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