I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Randomize
