whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
