I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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