You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
