Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
