i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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