Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
