so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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