That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
