that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I think I died a long time ago.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
