Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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