The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
