Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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