I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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