are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
