Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
