how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The power of my boobs compel you
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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