Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
should my penis look like a turkey
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i think im in europe. pls send help
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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