happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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