you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
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