hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
