Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
