I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
