I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Randomize