some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
