I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
