Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
