Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
This is my gift to your gina
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
