apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
