WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Text me some of your sweat
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
