If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
