i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize