I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
