Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Buhtt sex?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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