I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
