i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
