Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize