My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
