She announced her abortion via fbk
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
